The very day I found out I was pregnant with Kinsley, I remember sitting down with Max (my dog) and explaining to him how he was going to be a big brother. Silly, right? But, through my excitement of being pregnant (along with my nervousness), I was worried that Max wasn’t going to be good at sharing the spotlight. He had been my only baby for 7 years; 7 years of sucking up all my attention and love and now I had 9 months to figure out how I was going to break the reality of this “big brother” situation to him.
Today marks 2 years. 2 years of questioning. 2 years of anxiety. 2 years of uncertainty. 2 years of grieving. 2 years of changes.
Why is it a thing to ask a woman (who just birthed a child) when they are planning their next baby? Seriously, though. It’s only been 8 months since I have not been pregnant and I am constantly asked when I am planning on having “baby number 2.” Why?!
If you’ve been following my journey, then you know that I have had to climb several mountains to celebrate a Mother’s Day with my baby in my arms and before my eyes. But as I sit here and reflect on what my “first” Mother’s Day means to me, I can’t help but take myself back to last year, and the year before that and think of all the women in the world who are currently feeling those feelings that I once felt.
I never realized how much unsolicited advice you get as soon as you become a parent. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting advice and new ideas to try, but sometimes, advice is much more appreciated when it is asked for….am I right?
My journey with breastfeeding has come to an end and no one could have prepared me for this. The amount of sadness, guilt, and grief, but also relief, freedom, and calmness that I currently feel is unreal. So contradictory, right? Just another one of those “mom things” that not many people talk about, I guess?
FINALLY! Here I sit, on my couch, in complete and utter silence. Kinsley is peacefully asleep in her bed and I already miss her. Motherhood is such a weird thing. But yes, it has taken us nearly 4 months to get to this point in parenting and get Kinsley to this point in her life where she isn’t awake, screaming, until midnight to only wake an hour or so later to nurse. I kid you not, these past 4 months have been quite an adventure.
I don’t know about anyone else, but surviving the first six weeks of motherhood has felt like a huge accomplishment. There is absolutely nothing in life that prepares you for this; there’s no rule book, no “right” way, and definitely no expectations. It has been a wild ride thus far, but worth every minute.
October 10, 2018 will forever go down in my own history book as the most memorable day of my life. I can’t lie and say it was completely unexpected or a surprise by any means, but what I can say of this day was that it was a complete whirlwind. A whirlwind of a day with the most magical, fairytale ending, of course!
Wow! What an adventure this has been; beginning a new adventure known as Motherhood sounds so sweet. Thinking back to where this all started, I never could truly imagine this feeling, but it is so good!