I never realized how much unsolicited advice you get as soon as you become a parent. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting advice and new ideas to try, but sometimes, advice is much more appreciated when it is asked for….am I right?
There are certain people I enjoy sharing all of Kinsley’s accomplishments and even just the simple joys of parenting with, and then there are the people that I enjoy sharing those things with on top of the stressors and worries that parenting involves. Those people are the ones I love getting advice and ideas from; mainly because those are the people I know the best and feel most comfortable around. The one thing about this that really grinds my gears is when people are so quick to judge your decisions and/or not understand your heart in doing what you choose to do as a parent.
What I’m mainly getting at here is my parenting decision to get help. Between the rough pregnancy, crazy quick birth, the preeclampsia nonsense, the inconsolable colic symptoms, and struggles with my nursing journey, I was on a never-ending emotional rollercoaster that lead to some major sleep deprivation for me and Kinsley. People began commenting on the bags under Kinsley’s eyes, I kept hearing how bad daytime sleep triggered bad nighttime sleep, she wanted me and only me and I started feeling like a one-man army. I felt myself becoming depressed, isolated, and exhausted to an unhealthy point, not to mention how I started feeling like I wasn’t giving Kinsley what she needed.
This is also when I began feeling like I was drowning in advice from people that just didn’t understand my situation and my baby.
So, I reached out and enlisted some help.
Much of our inner-circle was so supportive and interested in this process, but I also got confused looks, lots of questions that seemed to put my parenting in question, and a lot of “babies just need time to figure things out” advice. But what people weren’t understanding was our situation. They were thinking back to their own experiences, which weren’t anything like ours. Every baby is different. Every mom experiences postpartum differently. And every set of parents handles situations differently. So, why couldn’t our decision just receive support and encouragement like anything else? It was so strange to me, honestly.
My husband and I hired a sleep consultant and it was the best money we could have spent. It not only saved our sweet babe from her colic and exhaustion, but it also saved this mama from a dark road of depression due to over exhaustion. It was such a blessing and I would recommend it to ANY and all parents out there because sleep is important…for everyone.
My goal here is to remind you all that you are doing a great job as long as you are doing what’s best for YOU and your family. What’s best for you might look much different than what’s best for me and that’s okay. I support that and will cheer you on! As a woman and a mom, I have realized so much more how important it is to be a cheerleader for other moms and women in general. We need each other and can really benefit from one another’s support. Don’t judge, just listen. It’s okay to not understand someone’s situation, but it’s not okay to make them feel bad or embarrassed about something that is best for them. Be kind and do what’s best for YOU!
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