“So, when are you planning on having kids?”
As a newlywed, you nearly become numb to this question. It’s totally normal. People are excited that you are now married and expect you to be just as excited as them to move to the next step-making babies! The question comes from such a great, excited, loving place from people. Trust me, I am even MORE excited to make babies of my own than the person asking me, but it’s just not that easy for some and this question can be tough to hear when you’re facing TTC struggles or pregnancy loss. I must say, I’d rather get this question twenty times each day than to hear other comments about TTC.
Since beginning my TTC Journey and experiencing pregnancy loss, there are so many sayings I have encountered that make me want to pull my hair out, but instead I take a deep breath and smile.
When a friend is sharing their TTC struggles with you, please just listen; this can be a really stressful and emotional time for someone and they may only be looking for someone to listen. With that said, ‘Can You Not’ (said in a sassy, valley-girl voice) say:
You’re trying too hard.
Just stop stressing about it and it will happen.
Have fun with it!
As soon as you stop trying, it will happen.
Try this (insert advice).
I got pregnant without trying!
We got pregnant right away!
We tried for a couple months, I totally understand where you’re coming from…
It will happen when it’s supposed to.
Getting pregnant was so easy for me (or us)!
You’re so young, what are you worried about?!
I’ve even had people reach out to me and remind me how badly my situation sucks and how I should be extremely sad to have lost my baby. Really?! As if I needed the reminder.
Be careful with your words. In situations like these, I personally would prefer no response than one of these responses. Be a friend. Be supportive. Show some love. Don’t underestimate the emotional toll this takes on someone (whether they have been TTC for a week or 10+ years) because everyone’s experience is so incredibly different. If you want to be supportive and helpful, click HERE.