Tiny-footprints-TTC-1

Part 1: Conception Journey

Let’s back up and bring this topic to fruition a little. When my (now) husband asked me when I would like to have kids, I responded with “10 years ago.” I truly have always wanted to be a mom (which is probably why I take my role as Mom to my dog so seriously).

Since we were advised by my “lady-doc” to prevent pregnancy 3 months post-honeymoon (due to Zika), we decided to wait it out to be safe instead of sorry. With so many girlfriends getting pregnant and others who already had babies, I chatted a lot with them about this process, and let me tell you reality- you don’t learn a quarter of what you need to know about reproduction in any type of health or sex education class in school. Most of my friends and family members laughed and told stories about how they accidentally got pregnant, or got pregnant on their first “active try.” I was so excited to get started!

November went by, then December and January, and February, March, and April and the only thing I got out of the experience was heartbreak. Nothing is worse than hoping for a positive pregnancy test and getting nothing but negatives and feeling like your life goal is so far away.

  By the way, isn’t it funny how hard we try through the years to avoid a positive pregnancy test situation and all of a sudden tables turn?!

I tried various apps to track and figure out ovulation, used ovulation sticks, did so much research as to what we could possibly be doing wrong, and still nothing. From what I have read and been told by doctors, it typically it takes couples up to 12 months to get pregnant; but I couldn’t understand how it was so easy for some people, and so difficult for us. At this point, I decided that I was done tracking everything except my cycle, and done wasting money on pregnancy and ovulation tests. I was going to relax about the entire situation.

May came around and I woke up in the morning (as usual) to use the bathroom before getting ready for work. I had one spot of bright red bleeding that I didn’t think much of because I knew my period was approaching and figured my body was preparing, or it may come early. However, it never happened again. A few days later, I brought this up to my BWF (best work friend) during lunch one day and she told me I should make an appointment with my doctor because it could have been an early miscarriage.

When she said that, my heart stopped. I didn’t know much about miscarriages or who had them, what caused them, how common they were or anything. I guess the craziest part to me was that I never even considered something like that could happen to ME.

I scheduled an appointment with my doctor about a week after the incident and they did some blood tests, a urine test, and an exam and everything looked normal. They told me that there was no sign of pregnancy or miscarriage, but my doctor was still a little surprised that it had been several months of active TTC and nothing had happened (his reason for being surprised was all related to my young age). He asked me if I wanted to move forward with some fertility testing to make sure everything is working properly- and without hesitation I said yes.

The details of the fertility testing will be for another time; it’s pretty intense. Everything checked out great on my end and my husband even got his swimmers tested. It took the rest of May and into June to complete the testing- during this time, we continued to try. I even went to the extent of traveling to Connecticut while my husband was out there for work during my “fertile week” in June just to make sure we didn’t miss a perfect opportunity. Seriously, the obstacles (physically, mentally, and financially) you are willing to face to achieve your dreams are limitless.

After getting back from Connecticut, I was feeling stress-free, worry-free- just as I had promised myself I would feel about this “baby making process.” The week of June 26th (which was the week before I was expecting my week of hell to arrive), I had some on and off spotting. I honestly didn’t think anything of it because I knew my body was most likely PMSing. The spotting stopped at the end of the week and I had expected my actual cycle to begin on that Monday or Tuesday after the holiday weekend.

I woke up the morning of July 3rd ready to host our annual BBQ and Fireworks party at our house, but something felt off…well, maybe it felt “on?” I had this urge to take a pregnancy test (although I had taken one a week earlier that gave me a clear “no”). After placing it on the counter, an immediate “II” appeared (that’s First Response’s way of indicating “pregnant”). I couldn’t believe my eyes and thought to myself, “is there a way that glass of wine could give me a positive reading?” So, I took myself to Target and bought a couple more boxes. Yes, I used ALL of them and they ALL came back positive. I remember jumping up and down, bursting out tears of happiness, imagining cute, Tiny Footprints, and just having this feeling of complete fulfillment and love. My husband was at work and I knew I didn’t want to text him, or call him, so I waited until he got home.

I can’t even explain to anyone the moment we had. I felt as though I was able to do something right- WE did this together and worried about what?! NOTHING!

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